Oh, I wish I were a little round orange, round orange,
Oh, I wish I were a little round orange. 
I'd go squirty, squirty, squirty, over everybody's shirty,
Oh, I wish I were a little round orange!

Oh, I wish I were a little bar of soap, bar of soap, 
Oh, I wish I were a little bar of soap. 
I'd go shiny, shiny, shiny, over everybody's hiney, 
Oh, I wish I were a little bar of soap!

Oh, I wish I were a little brown sparrow, brown sparrow, 
Oh, I wish I were a little brown sparrow. 
I'd sit up on the steeple and spit at all the people, 
Oh, I wish I were a little brown sparrow!

(This is the best verse and I have to credit Jeanie Schimian for coming up with this one.)

Oh, I wish I were a little blade of grass, blade of grass, 
Oh I wish I were a little blade of grass. 
Along comes a doggy, and then I get all soggy, 
Oh, I wish I were a little blade of grass!