Hello Operator
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Sung to: The Merry Melodies theme song, from the old Warner Brothers cartoons.

Also known as: Miss Suzy

Also see: Miss Lucy Had A Baby

Contributors Heidi Stephens (Cincinnati, OH)
Jim Rugh (Houston, TX)
Dara Ryan (unknown)
Jus Morhaim (unknown)
Rating Sassy
Notes from Heidi "I can't remember the final lines, alas."
Notes from Jim "My son told me the rest..."
Notes from Jus I've spent every day since August listening to this song on my bus, and the ones on the page are missing the very ending. August till now was a long time.

[Heidi's version]
Miss Suzy had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Suzy went to heaven
The steamboat went to-
Hello operator
Give me number nine
If you disconnect me
I'll kick your big be-
'Hind the 'frigerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Suzy fell upon it
And cut her big old-
Ask me no more questions
Give me no more lies

[Jim's version continues here.]
Ask me no more questions 
Give me no more lies 
The boys are in the restroom 
zipping up their-

Flies are in the meadow 
The bees are in the park 
Miss Suzy and her boyfriend 
Are kissing in the D. A. R. K.
D-A-R-K. D-A-R-K. 
Dark Dark Dark Dark 
Darker than the ocean 
Darker than the sea 
Darker than the black boy 
That peed all over me!

[This is Dara's Version]
Miss Lucy had a steam boat
The steamboat had a bell,
Miss Lucy went to heaven and the
Steamboat went to...
Hello operator
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I will chop off your...
Behind the 'fridgerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy sat upon it
And she cut her little...
Ask me no more questions
I'll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Pulling down their...
Flies are in the meadow
The bees are in the park
Miss Lucy and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the...
Dark is like a movie
A movie's like a show
A show is like a tv set
And that is all I know.

[Here's Jus's version]
Miss Suzy had a speed boat
The speed boat had a bell
Miss Suzy went to heaven
The speed boat went to
Hello Operator
Give me number nine
If you disconnect me
Ill kick you in the
Behind the frigerateor
There was a piece of glass
Mss Suzy sat upon it
And broke her little
Ask me no more questions
Tell me no more lies
The boys are in the bathrooms
Zipping up their
Flies are in the meadow
Bees are in the park
Miss Suzy and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the
Dark! Dark! Dark!
Darker then the ocean
Darker the the sea
Darker the the panty-hoes
My mommie puts on me
My brother is annoying
My dad is hong kong
My very little sister
Is the one who made up this
Song! Song! Song!